Go ahead. Make me stay.

What...you say I got big ears?

2012-01-27T18:32:00.001-05:00

You're just jealous because I get HBO in my left ear and Cinemax in my right one. :)

Best seat in the house.

2012-01-25T18:28:00.001-05:00

I wanted to be closer to my mom's boss while he makes the gourmet doggie ice cream cones, just in case he makes a mess that might lead to pieces of food flying from the sky. Ill be sure to be up front and center with my nose pointed North.

But it took a while. So I decided to grab the closest warmest seat nearest the baking table.

I have a new sister!

2012-01-10T16:18:00.001-05:00

Im so excited to have another playmate to pee on the yard with! Even though she steals all my squeaky toys and keeps me up half the night with her constant itching, she HAS mastered the art of pissing off the cat and even getting him to submit to her (lordy, I dont know how she did it!) That much is a-okay in my book because I was tired of his constant harassing me. Dude would just sit hiding around the corner and pounce out of nowhere to land on top of me, claws flailing! He scares the heebie jeebies out of me!

So here I am with my new sister, Penelope, whom my parents call..."The Urinator".

Everyone needs a friend.

2011-11-30T17:42:00.001-05:00

Here I am with my friend, Patrick.

Mommy's back to her old tricks!

2011-08-06T15:26:00.001-04:00

Here she is making a photographical mockery out of me.

News update: we have moved back to Los Angeles and so im back to peeing in palm trees! Yay! Its good to be home!

Mom...where'd my nose go?

2011-06-03T13:08:00.001-04:00

Mom.

2011-05-22T11:56:00.001-04:00

My mom and me on this lovely Sunday morning.

My Great-Grandpa

2011-05-11T09:47:00.001-04:00

I love my grandpa because he always gives me yummy delicious treats like pepperoni and salami. Here I am with him. He always pets me in my favorite place behind my neck.

Nothin' wrong with a little tube!

2011-05-04T15:58:00.001-04:00

Watching Orange County Choppers on my mom's lap.

I Love Spring!

2011-05-01T11:54:00.001-04:00

Chillin' at great-grandad's

2011-04-30T16:09:00.001-04:00

I just love living here at my great-grandad's with my mum. (yes...I now blog with a British accent after all of the royal wedding festivities blaring from my mom's TV.)

Grandpa gives me pepperoni and salami and covers me in a towel as I sit beside him on the couch when he takes his insulin. And my mom and grandpa throw me my squeak toys and I run and jump and bounce all over the place (they have a big parlor!) being careful NOT to jump on grandma. Oh, that would be bad news. So here I am at great grandpa's. (btw...his name is Albert, too.)

Here I am with my "flea" toy.

Lazy Spring Morning.

2011-04-28T11:53:00.001-04:00

I love being cuddled up with my mom in bed. It's among my favorite pastimes! It's finally gotten hot here, so mom has been letting me run nekkid. Oh how I love the feel of the pillow and blankets and sheets on my bare skin!

They say we are going to get some bad storms today with floods. Boy am I glad I live on the top of a hill!

Some things that are new: we are moving again! Mom says her and her boy human are going to drive a big truck with all our stuff in it. We are going to stop where the President lives. Then we are going to see the C-man to get my moms music. I don't know what that means...why does he have all her music?

Then we are going to stop in Alabama to get moms motorcycle and things we had to temporarily leave behind when we moved to Pennsylvania.

Then we are going to stay in a new place I never heard of before. Mom says it's where Mardi-Grass is held and its where her boy human is from. I don't know what is Mardi-Grass exactly, but mom gets a real big smile on her face when she starts talking about it. Of course, it's not time for Mardi-Grass but mom sys there are other things we will do like listen to jazz music and visit old graveyards (but I'm not allowed to pee on tombstones, she says.) Mom says she will get to see where some Rice lady, who writes these sexy books that mom likes, used to live. And there are these critters mom has been freaking out about there that the people eat and mom is afraid they are going to try to make her eat. She said they are Craw Fish. Mom said she doesn't like the idea of eating something that has so many legs.

And then...we are finally going home! Mom and me are moving back to the city in California. I can't wait to get some sun again and see all of my old doggie friends and play at the dog beach again. Mom says we will live with a kitty cat who is bigger than me. Boy am I scared. I hope she is a nice kitty. Mom took a nice picture of her when she went to California a month ago. Here is the Kitty whose name is...none other than..."Kitty". Now where's the originality in that?

Mom has promised that we will blog from the road when we go on our trip. It should be fun. I wonder if she will let me drive? Is there a rule against dogs at the wheel with moving trucks?

Tails from PA

2011-01-25T23:38:00.001-05:00

Well, my mom and I are settling in as best we can in PA. Mom has been making a metal stick move dance in all kinds of loops through this fuzzy stuff she calls YARN. She has been working all night and day making things cause she has an Etsy shop now. I lay by her side all day long on the pillow next to her.

Here I am this afternoon all cozy on my moms snuggie.

These are my cool new food bowls. Mom said she scored them from Great Grandma. She says they are "VINTAGE".

So far it has been pretty boring here because of all this snow. There's not much for a hairless guy to do outside with all that freezing cold wind. I asked my mom today why we can't move back to California.

Well as for my moms YARN stuff...I am so relieved she hasn't made anything yet for dogs because then...

"oh Albert! What a wonderful idea!"

...then...I'll end up being the guinea pig who looks like a fool modeling the stuff. Shoot. Now I've gone and got her all excited again. Dang. Why do I open my mouth!

Here I am in my new winter coat.

- Posted using BlogPress for iPhone

2010-12-24T19:41:00.002-05:00

Hey, doggie bloggie friends out there! How many of you have your OWN Facebook profile? My mom made me one a long time ago, but we've been too busy to keep up with it. The good news is that now, we've been trying as we might to keep it going, especially now with our new adventures in the Poconos where my mom grew up. So stay in touch and come "like" me!

Here's the link: Albert E. Hairless on Facebook

Also...be my friend on DogBook, the doggie community on Facebook and we can stay updated on our human's cell phones!
My DogBook Profile

Brrr....it's cccccCOLD up here!

2010-12-24T14:04:00.000-05:00

brrrrrr....it's freezing!

Well, fellow doggiez...I must say! I don't know how you northern dogs do it! I want to move back to California. This stuff is the pits! I try to go out and pee and poo all in one shot, but alas it is too cold. I freeze my berries off. Oh wait. They got frozen off about five years ago. Okay. So I freeze my tail off. But dang! It's soooo cold and then my mom decided to laugh and pause for a photo opp before letting me in the house.

So...here is my new potty schedule:

1. When mommy wakes up in the am: PEE on dead trees that don't have leaves cause it's something called WINTER.
2. In the afternoon: POOP in the neighbor's yard. It's okay cause nobody lives there.
3. In the early evening: PEE on the clothes line pole. Mom says people here sometimes hang clothes on them.
4. Before bed: PEE a loooong pee and try to POOP.

It's working well for me, except I pooped in my Great Aunt Susan's house twice. whoops. She didn't get too mad though, because her doggie wears a diaper.

Mom...pleez open the door and let me back in where it's warm!

I'm a Yankee dog now!

2010-12-19T17:53:00.000-05:00

Well the mountains are interesting so far! First of all...my mom is so unhappy that all she ever does is cry. But my Great Grandpa is awesome! He feeds me pepperoni and salami slices! The only question I have is what is the deal with this cold weather and all of this white stuff on the ground? brrrr!

Moving to the mountains.

2010-12-13T18:27:00.000-05:00

My mom and I are going to be moving again. She tells me there will be lots of snow and ice on the ground. Brrrr...I'm getting goose-pimples on my hairless body just thinking about it! She's not very happy. She's been very sad. I will miss all of my new furry friends here in Alabama. I hope I will get to meet other fur-friends in the great North East! Wish my mom and me luck!

My face got hurt.

2010-10-13T18:06:00.001-04:00

My mom keeps asking me what happened but she isn't comprehending the morse code I am sending through the strategic wags of my tail.

A couple of nights ago, the Joe-man noticed my lower eyelid was a little swollen. Mom said it looked a little better on Tuesday morning but then today it swelled up and started oozing. Mom also noticed a lumpy red mark on my cheek. That's when she got worried and thought I got in a fight with one of my big brother dogs.

So Auntie Becky and my mom took me to the Vet here...my first time to this new guy named Dr. Fuller. He was pretty funny. He always asks about the Joe-man and he even told me that I was a BEAUTIFUL dog. My mom's reply was "of course! He is my son!"

The doctor-dude squirted orange antibiotics in my mouth and swabbed my eyelid with some gel stuffs and sent me on my merry way. I'm feeling tired now and want to lay on the back of the couch and rest up from my adventure-filled day.

But first, I want to share with y'all (yes, I'm developing my Southern "bark") this funny photo my mom took from a sign in the waiting area.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

It's PAWS for the cause time!

2010-09-19T11:28:00.001-04:00

My mom and I have always supported the local humane and rescue organizations, and since moving to Alabama, we have found a really cool humane society right at our own back door! So...we are going to do another 1K walk to support the Shelby Humane organization! Yay! I can't wait! These events are so much fun. You can email me and my mom if you would like to make a donation and sponsor us in the big walk! We would really appreciate it! We are walking on Saturday, October 2...so please, we need all donations before then! We will post lots of photos of the day after the event! Wish us good luck in helping our furry friends who don't have homes, live one more day to find their FUR-ever homes!

My mom and Tyson, the Skateboarding Bulldog during the 2005 Orange County SPCA Walk for the Animals! He was our Master of Ceremonies!

This year's event in Alabaster, Alabama:

http://barkinthepark.shelbyhumane.org/mutt-strut-information.php

Waiting...

2010-09-07T14:42:00.001-04:00

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Me loves me some Labor Day BBQs!

2010-09-05T12:33:00.001-04:00

Chilling on the back porch at the Hotel Halechko. Hangin with my pooch brothers Max and Xander watching the humans bring out all the food stuffs! I love howladay weekends!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dress-up gone wrong.

2010-09-05T12:11:00.001-04:00

I love rolling around in freshly laundered clothes. It one of my favorite past times. But look t this mess I got myself all tangled up in!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hey look! I invented a new yoga pose!

2010-09-02T15:58:00.001-04:00

It's called the triangle dog pose!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

With Love..from Alabama.

2010-08-19T11:19:00.001-04:00

Passionately brought to you from my Android phone.

I moved again!

2010-08-19T11:15:00.001-04:00

Things between the C-man and my mom didnt work out and so we moved to Alabama with some old friends of my mom from back when she grew up in PA. I have a lot more fun now because its never quiet here and i have 2 new K-9 friends to romp around and play with. The pug is just like me...and old fellow with a gray face who likes to lay around and sleep all day just like me. The Doberman is another story. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but its cool cause that means i get to boss him around.

My mom does a lot of travelling during the week for school and she hates it, but theres always something for me to do and i like hanging out with the humans here and all of the dogs! There are so many neighborhood dogs! Im making so many friends!

The picture is of me and my mom during our 4 hour drive to Alabama from GA. Joe picked us up in the big truck. THAT was fun until he and my ma started singing at the top of their lungs to some band named after the state we are moving to. Some people said they are from there. Well thats just stupid. Wheres the creativity in that? I mean...maybe i should start a band named Los Angeles for that matter. Nah. I kid. If i started a band it would be called Albert and the Critters. Id hire a bunch of stupid Dobermans on backup vocals, cause theyll do just about anything i say!

Passionately brought to you from my Android phone.

My mom was playing in Photoshop again.

2010-07-21T20:36:00.001-04:00

This is the start of a Flash project. I'm scared. She said she's going to have the wheel barrow dump me into the pool. HELP! I don't know how to swim!

Looking rediculous as usual.

2010-07-18T12:56:00.001-04:00

Now that my mom got a new cell phone with a 5 mp camera (whatever that means, but she wont stop talking about it) i am submitted to all kinds of picture-posing torture again. Ugh. Why cant she have 5 classes per week instead of 3.

When she gets bored, she comes to find me. Seriously, what goes through her head? It must be something like this...

"Hmmm...bored today. Think I'll take some pictures. But what of? I know! Let's dress Albert upin something rediculous and make him pose for pictures!"

Really. I mean, why does she get kicks out of humiliating me?

Passionately brought to you by Stacey via my Android phone.

Sick Day.

2010-07-02T15:40:00.001-04:00

Yesterday my mom & I got to hang out in bed all day. She said she had a stomach virus. That happens to me when I eat too much grass. My mom must have ate alot of grass cause she threw up ALOT.

Anyhow, it felt nice all snuggled up in the sheets and covers. It's the only time I'm allowed on the bed. If it were up to my mom, I'd get to sleep up there all the time but the C-man has rules. My mom made my bed ultra-comfortable tho. So it's good.

This is my impression of my mom wih her head in the toilet.

Bye now!

I'm a good boy!

2010-06-27T13:12:00.001-04:00

I left a surprise for my mom in front of my sleeping crate today! You see, it's my moms birthday and with the enlisted help of the good C-Man, I got her a card! She was so happy and totally loved it! I even signed my name in Spanish! (love, Alberto)

We have yard intruders!

2010-06-17T20:08:00.001-04:00

The other night I discovered a secret my mom and the C-man have been keeping from me. We have a skunk! Apparently he comes out the same time every night and has two puppies.

Then we have this bird in our front yard that yells when you come near her. Oh her voice is so high it hurts my ears. My mom yells at me if I get too close. She says there are eggs. Well what is she doing putting eggs in our front yard! I always thought they go in a frying pan!

It's a beautiful day and I want to go OUT!

2010-06-05T12:37:00.001-04:00

My new diggs.

2010-04-15T12:17:00.001-04:00

Mom and C-man bought me a new place in the house just for me. They said they are tired of the damage to walls doors and rugs in tge bathroom where they leave me when they have to do human stuff when I am not allowed to come along. They also found my secret pee spots in the closet where I sneak off to in the middle of the night.

Lots of K-9's don't like that nasty word, CAGE, but I don't mind this special place because it's still in the same corner of tge bedroom where I sleep on moms side and mom made it real nice with my favorite bed and even a big warm blanket thrown on top so I feel like I have some privacy. (it sure beats the cardboard box and suitcase contraption that the humans used as a fence to baracade me into my corner with before so that I wouldn't leave my bed in the middle of the night!)

I didn't give my mom any fuss...I just went right in there at bedtime.

My portrait

2010-03-31T22:08:00.001-04:00

My mom took this of me.

A note from Albert's mom.

2010-03-29T17:35:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone. This is Albert's mom. I found this funny little tuck-job in my son's bed this morning. Do you think he tucked his own toy there like this?

Posing with cows.

2010-03-25T17:15:00.001-04:00

Those pesky cows across the street are getting used to my mom and I. They don't seem to mind us at all anymore, even when we stop over at the entranceway to our estates to break for photo opps.

See! There they are! Always in the background! Pesky cows! They even stare back at my wierd mama when she does the moo-cow baby talk.

Mom does a photoshoot.

2010-03-16T14:22:00.000-04:00

My mom has been going camera-happy! But that's okay because I am a ham for the camera!

So shy....NOT!

Saying my prayers.

Days with mom.

2010-03-15T19:13:00.001-04:00

Sometimes when she goes off to school, I begin to miss her so much. At times I don't even want to eat my food that the C-man puts in my dish for me. I'll wait for her at the top of the stairs patiently longing for the moment she'll walk through that door by the room where the humans put the cars.

And sometimes...mom will let me on the bed and snuggle up with me. Ahhh...this feels so nice to be curled up in the nook of mom's neck!

Life is a farm.

2010-03-08T17:42:00.001-05:00

Okay. Well maybe I don't live on a farm. But the farm lives across from me. Mom said today in Georgia it was 73 out.

Ahhh...when she came home from school mom, the C-man and me all sat out on the back porch to enjoy the beautiful weather. The cows were squeaking (yes, sometimes cows squeak), the birds were doing their thing, and the sun felt good!

DogBook

2010-03-02T15:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, for all of my doggy-bloggy pawpals out there who's parents have FaceBook, I'm excited to announce that FaceBook's DogBook apllication has the iPhone version too! So any of you who are on DogBook, let's hook up! For those of you who aren't...well you should sign up!

Movin on up

2010-03-01T18:10:00.001-05:00

I like to be up real high!

My mom drew me on tge computer.

2010-02-28T21:17:00.001-05:00

This was off of a photo she took of me after she shaved all my face hairs off into a Mohawk some years ago. I'll have to post the orginal photo sometime.

-brought to you via my moms iPhone.

And what do YOU do on a Thursday afternoon?

2010-02-25T13:31:00.000-05:00

I like to sit at the computer and read my friends' blogs.

- brought to you via my moms iPhone.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T21:20:00.001-05:00

- Posted with my mom's iPhone.

Papi's mi hermano!

2010-02-16T12:34:00.000-05:00

I finally got to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua! Had to wait until it came out on DVD cause Mom says it's not easy to sneak a 16 lb. dog into the theatre.

All I can say is, Papi's my man! He's so cool and I can relate to his sexy swagger with the ladies, mm hmm.

If you haven't seen it yet, you must. It's a bark of a good time!

-brought to you from my mom's iPhone.

Going vintage.

2010-02-02T17:45:00.001-05:00

-brought to you via my mom's iPhone.

Hard at work.

2010-02-02T11:56:00.001-05:00

My mom has started to help out the C-man with some work in his office and that means I get to punch the time clock too! Don't I look profesh sitting in his really cool desk chair? They look like race car seats.

Whenever mom sits in the racecar seat, I try to put my front paws onto her lap and she accidentally spins around from my paw-power. Often she'll be writing or typing stuff on the computer when I jump up and when she goes spinning all the way around all you hear is "AL-BERRRRRT!".

I think it's pretty funny.

- brought to you via my mom's iPhone.

Cool app for pets. Pets next door.

2010-01-29T20:13:00.001-05:00

My mom and I are really enjoying this fun app and I think those of you pals out there in doggie bloggie space whose folks own an iPhone should sign up for this free app where we get to be cool pets and be friends and make new friends from all around the world!

You really need to check it out. You can pick favorites, leave them comments, rate them with little hearts, post stories and photos. Here is my screenshot of my profile:

It's called Pets Next Door. Look for it in iTunes apps.

- Passionately brought to you via my iPhone.

Mom and me.

2010-01-29T18:45:00.000-05:00

Life is good! This unique and special bond we have with humans!

- Brought to you by my mom's iPhone.

I make old look good!

2010-01-25T22:45:00.001-05:00

My mom and the other human moved us into this ultra big house. Well we moved from small spaces in the city. After all the stuff arrived in this big moving box with 18 wheels, we realized that there was suddenly more space than we knew what to do with. (wanna know the interesting thing? The guy who drove the big box on 18 wheels with our stuff all the way from California had a fun sidekick in the passenger seat who was a real show Collie).

Anyhow, grampa and grambma gave us some really cool old furniture. Mom calls them ANT-eeks. She went bananas like I do for my treats over this one blue chair with the paint falling off of it. She said Grampa says it's a Louis-the-(something or other) time piece.

Well I don't care if was a ANT-eek or not, it is now a Albert-E-Hairless timepiece cause not only is it soft and comfy...but I look dog-garned-good on it!

- Posted with my mom's iPhone.

Hey look, it's me...on a collage!

2010-01-23T21:32:00.001-05:00

My mom made my picture into a brush in the Photoshop! That's how much she loves me!

- Posted from my mom's iPhone.

Artsy fartsy me.

2010-01-21T21:37:00.000-05:00

- Posted with my mom's iPhone.

Just wanted to say thanks

2010-01-21T21:05:00.001-05:00

...to all of my faithful readers and new friends from www.dogswithblogs.com.

I really like having a voice...life gets pretty darn boring waggin ones tail and licking ones butt all the time. I live for moments where I can connect with other K-9's and K-9 lovers alike beacause after all, we have no neighbors! unless of course you count the cows and chickens across the street, but I don't count em cause they're no fun running away from me all the time. Truth be told, they don't know what they're missing! After all, I'm a pretty nice guy. There really is a problem with the communication gap between cow and canine. Why don't they answer me or understand my language? Oh well.

Anyhow, here's me all posing in my red pajama suit. Mom says all it's missing is the little feet at the bottom, but I think, sheesh! Aren't I covered up enough? Nobody can see my beautiful birthday suit under all this jazz! But it sure is warm in the middle of January. Till next time fur friends...

- Posted from my mom's iPhone.

Look I have no legs!

2010-01-19T11:16:00.001-05:00

Just kidding. They're in there, somewhere. I love cuddling with mom in her favorite down comforter!

The importance of a good bath.

2010-01-16T23:45:00.001-05:00

To my fellow canines,

Do not stress next time the humans take you to the groomer (or the backyard hose for that matter). Let it officially be known to dogs everywhere that a good bath is verrry important. For instance, you are more loveable to the humans fresh after grooming above all other times!
You will most likely never experince more hugs and kisses, and might even find yourself allowed up on the human's bed!

Yes, my fellow fur-friends, it pays to be clean!

- Posted via iPhone.

Saturday morning splendor.

2010-01-16T11:57:00.001-05:00

I found a cozy little place on moms lap this morning. They should really make a "wordless Saturday".

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My paw got hurt

2010-01-15T21:34:00.001-05:00

I don't know what happened really, but I kept having this itch and bother that made me wanna lick. And lick. And lick some more. Then I woke up one morning and I had to use only three of my legs to walk. Man that thing hurt so bad. Then my mom started to freak out. She put a gooey goo on it that was supposed to help but it only made it worse.

She kept saying I was gonna have to go to the *gulp* vet. I prayed, "please god in doggie heaven, let me get better". I even tried to run on it to show mom I was A-okay. But it started to get gookie and slimy and I knew she was ready to make the appointment.

Then a crazy thing happened. I got to go to gramma n grampa's house. Grampa E. is a real live doctor of the human kind and gramma E. is a real live edumacated nurse. Together with the help of my moms superb restraining techniques and the other human's strength,

I was sooner than later treated, dressed and wrapped up. I was perscribed antibiotics and had my dressings changed regularly and before you knew it, I was good as new, running around in all four paws again! I love my new gramparents. Because they must really love me to go through all the trouble. My mom says they're her heroes for takin care of her baby. Yep. That's me. My moms baby. What she doesn't realize is that she's human and I'm k-9 but shhh...what she doesn't know can't hurt her!

the fat man.

2009-12-21T20:26:00.001-05:00

So, every year my mom gets this crazy idea that i need to sit on a big fat man's lap, all dressed in red, and begg for more treats. he's okay n all. he's got very soft white hands, and a nice fluffy chewtoy dangling from his chin! this year, i decided to ask the "clause" for my own website...since momma told him i already have a blog. he laughed at me! well...paybacks can be deadly...i left him a fartsy present on his nice soft, red lap.

The first photo is courtesy of my mom's advancing photoshop skills. she wasn't crazy about PetSmart's cardboard backdrop.

Everybody was making fun of me because I wore green. They all said I should be wearing red. But my mom and I are one step ahead of the rest. We know that in red...I'd blend in with the fat guy. Duh.

my mom was real impressed with PetSmart's volunteer services this year at the Santa boothe. This woman was crazy! She kept fixing and primping my sleeve! Doesn't she know I'm a dog, and I'm supposed to have wrinkles? This tickled my mom's fancy, and she had to take photos of my personal dress-room assistant experience. Man...if this is what it takes to be in show business...

Here I am asking "the Clause" for my own website.

Here I am going in for the big "chew" on the beard. Okay...I lie. I was going in for some smooches. A little "kissing" up to SantaPaws before Christmas never hurt. Does this make me gay?

helloooo, ladies!

2009-12-13T13:29:00.000-05:00

My mom made a blog award for all of the ladies out there, just for being a girl! We don't understand rules for awards just yet, so we don't have any rules attached to this award. We just want to give it out to all of our "girlfriends" out there in doggie-bloggie world (and those who blog as themselves...human girls that is..). So grab it up and post away to your blogs! Happy Holidays my fabulous bitches!

brrr...it's cold outside.

2009-12-11T11:36:00.000-05:00

well...it usually gets pretty chilly in California by the beach this time of year, but i have NEVER experienced cold like this. it's still pretty fun though. mom brought my warm coats and jackets with us in the move, and it felt nice to run around today, while still feeling pretty warm. with the cold air comes some new fragrances in the air...plenty of smells to keep my nose busy! the chickens across the street don't wake us up anymore because they went away on a truck one day. my mom was NOT happy about that. she's vegetarian and stuff. but now we have those pesky cows that i like to bark at and mom just adores. she takes me over each morning to the fence line where they stand around like a bunch of heffers.(haha) i tell them, "heffers, make sure you understand that this is MY side of the fence, and that is YOURS. now you stay right there and eat your own grass!" i swear i saw one of the large ones, fully engaged in chomping on a rather large mound of grass, actually roll his eyes at me! the nerve of those heffers.

run for joy!

okay, can we go back inside now?

smells in the air.

hello post in the ground. trip anyone lately?

one leg up for mom's christmas tree.

2009-12-11T11:01:00.000-05:00

whew! stand on hind legs, throw my front legs up in the air, and wave those paws like i just don't care...i have been BEGGING my mom to log on for me! but, nevertheless, she has been busy with something called finals? she is happy when finals are over, but i say it sounds more like death. you know..."FI-NAL"?

anyway...not much has been going on...well except for the day when my mom jumped up and down, flailing her arms around the house...doing some sort of christmas dance after she peered through the window one day to find our new tree on the porch. well...that's what she said anyway. a tree. but to me, it looked like a long skinny cardboard box that i decided to welcome into our house by lifting my leg on it..yunno...the usual AL-BERT greeting. "Welcome to my abode cardboard box...I mean...'tree'. "

So I sat on the staircase watching my mom unpack, one at a time, these prickly pieces from the cardboard box, placing one on top of eachother until all that building resembled a giant...well...tree! The whole time, she plucked and bent the branches, singing along to stuff she must have been hearing through that square device she calls an EYE-PHONE (I don't know why, cause far as i know, it doesn't have eyes).

my mom did a pretty good job putting all that shiny stuff up on there, and right when she plugged it in...it lit up real bright. i sniffed while admiring the new addition from down at mom's feet and was about to christen it with my special little "Albert" touch, until mom spanked my behind, waved her finger at me, looked me straight in the eye and said..."don't you even think about peeing on my tree!"

well...i guess that was that.

welcome to the dog house.

2009-11-13T15:43:00.000-05:00

that new cat that followed the other human home has become a real pain in my tail. she thinks she's a dog. each time my mom takes me out to pee, the fur-ocious feline follows us out there and takes a poop right in the middle of the wood chips! and if she sees me run off into the huge backyard, she runs after me. more like hops. how ever does she get that high anyway? now she's into climbing trees and just yesterday she learned how to jump up on the stove. the humans got so mad cause they left a cheese burger in the pan and that crazy cat had eaten 1/3 of it by the time they caught her. i guess in a sense i can say i rather admire her. i wish I could get away with that. she's pretty clever. all in all, i'm still trying to get used to being no longer an only child up in this house...but i guess there's room for another four-legged one. after all...it is rather comical to watch the humans get mad and chase the cat around the house slapping a giant dishtowel around after her!

and the award for most original goes to.....

2009-11-02T10:32:00.000-05:00

ME! Yay! I won my first Howl-O-Ween costume contest over at Daisy Dog's blog! Here is the link to my category. I'm so grateful for the careful judging and consideration! The winners get to select their favorite dog or kittie rescue to which a donation will be made on behalf of each of the winners from the three categories! what a pawsomely fun way to celebrate howl-o-ween.

i'd like to thank Daisy Dog, Dozer, Mango and Dennis, the fine and uber sophisticated panel of k-9 judges. i'd like to thank my mom for taking the time to paint my body and keep me from smudging my makeup that day. i'd also like to thank my mom for celebrating by letting me on the bed with her and the other human in what she calls a "happiness sandwhich". yay!

my life-long ambition...

2009-10-26T12:59:00.002-04:00

my mom has been telling me for a long time now that i'd be a very good therapy dog. she said i could visit children's hospitals and retirement facilities. this would be so much fun, but my mom keeps talking about it and can't find out how to start this. she spends hours on the internet and all she finds is web sites where we can buy me a therapy dog outfit (yunno, so people will know i'm a therapy dog). i like wearing clothes that make me look distinguished, and so this would make me look very important. but we dont know how to get set up with the places to visit. if any-dogy out their is currently a therapy dog, can you please give us some advice on how to start? thanks. it's my dream to be a therapy dog and help people feel better with my unique and hairless nature.

Albert E. Hairless

a dog's nose...

2009-10-23T19:53:00.000-04:00

knows.

howl-o-ween

2009-10-23T19:34:00.001-04:00

okay, so Daisy Dog is having a really kewl howl-o-ween costume contest. there are some pretty big names up there on the judges panel. i made a submission and i've got my paws crossed! here is the foto i submitted of me in my Army costume. let all the hairy dogs out there gush because no one could pull off a full-on camo paintjob the way a hairless dog can! yeah!

wish me luck!

i'm sorry to all my blogging friends out there in doggie land for my disappearance.

2009-10-23T18:53:00.000-04:00

yes. i've been missing. well no, not actually missing. i've been all over actually. but not on da computer. okay. here's what happened. we got a cat. just when i was happy to be the only child in the house, we have to get a cat! ooooo..i'm so mad. i mean...i get along pretty well with cats but this one is a YOUNG cat. and it has too much energy and meowwws all the time...oooo i hate it! it wont let me sleep! then it tries to steal my food and always tries to rub up against me and even sit in my bed. THAT is a no-no. i can't allow some other critter to come in and just act like she owns the place!

so...i've been busy teaching this youngster the rules of MY kingdom. the rules are outlined as follows in this nice letter i've written to the cat:

dear annoying new cat,

here are some rules that will ensure your survival in this family:

1. the only person to sleep in Albert's bed is Albert.

2. the only person to eat out of Albert's food dish is Albert.

3. when Albert is sitting up on the chair next to mom, cats are not ALLOWED to climb aboard.

4. please don't mistake my mom's fingers for food. she gets real upset.

5. all meow-ing must stop by midnight, sharp.

6. my tail is not a toy. the humans provided you a scratch pad for that.

7. cats are supposed to do their business in the litter box provided by humans. they are NOT to follow Albert around the yard and try to do their business next to his.

8. the computer keyboard is meant for the humans to type on and Albert. no kitties allowed! it messes up my blog posts before i have the chance to hit "publish".
9. though shall not follow mom to the mailbox everyday. that's Albert's job.
10. while you must stay here, you're only job is to kill the insects that fly near me.

thanx,
and welcome to the family. now remember, that i am boss.
sincerely,
Albert E. Hairless

this one's for Dennis...

2009-10-09T21:01:00.000-04:00

howl-o-ween

2009-10-05T13:43:00.000-04:00

so i've been thinking about what to go as for howl-o-ween. i keep askin mom to pleez let it be something warm so i dont have to freeze my tail off. anyhow, she was thinking about me going as a pot roast. i was afraid though that trick-or-treaters might get confused and not realize that i'm a dog and eat me by accident...nope, too dangerous i told her. sides, it appears as if some other mutt came up with the idea first:

and he doesn't look very happy cause i think that other dog is trying to steal his carrots.

brrrr...it's getting chilly out there...i'm freezing my tail off!

2009-10-05T13:38:00.000-04:00

i haven't posted in a few days. i haven't made poopie outside in a few days neither. it's been a busy weekend! first, the yard humans came and dug up my yard. don't they know that's MY job? so, they laid hay down too, but at least they cut the grass all over and so now i can run faster...yipppeee!

it's been getting chilly outside though lately and i dont like to poop out there when it rains, cause i'm from LA and dont really understand why water falls from the sky here yet. but because its cold, mom started putting on my winter shirts cause i shiver all the time, yunno...bein' hairless an' all. mom says i look like Waldo (whoever the heck he is) in my green and white striped shirt. i think i look rather dashing, cause if it was a girlie shirt, i wouldn't let the cows across the street see me in it. yunno...i got to look all tough when i go out to bark at them.

anyhow, after the yard humans left, i had fun surveying my territory with the other human who lives with us. mom gets all camera happy each time he picks me up and snuggles me cause she says he lets on like he's not really into dogs that much. but i know a secret cause he tells me all the time how much he loves me...shhhh. don't tell. so mom took these pictures of me in my shirt with the other human.

yay. i finally have my own Facebook fan page!

2009-09-29T16:56:00.001-04:00

Albert E. Hairless

Promote Your Page Too

Albert E. Hairless on Facebook

this is one of my favorite dance routines.

2009-09-29T16:46:00.000-04:00

because she's hot and he keeps trying to cop a feel...makes me wanna pant...hahahahahaha...

howl-o-ween dance.

2009-09-29T16:39:00.000-04:00

okay...make me barf.

2009-09-29T16:33:00.000-04:00

i wonder how much money this guy makes. he should go on dancing with the starz. i think he's a human dressed as a golden.

kewl website.

2009-09-28T18:01:00.001-04:00

since my mom is going to school to learn how to make nice websites, we sit around sometimes and look for inspiration and fun websites that look great. i like this time cause i get to cuddle on mom's lap in front of the computer and let her take hold of the mouse for a change. here is one we found today that we really like and because it has to do with dogs (well a book about dogs), i thought i'd share it with all of you! you can see the talking bulldog for yourself at the full website: http://www.gooddogsbadnames.com/

yay! it's laundry day!

2009-09-28T11:57:00.000-04:00

mom usually isn't quite so happy to do laundry, but i luv it! my favorite time is right after she takes the clothes out of the big tumbly thing, she puts it in this big plastic thing with holes on the sides and i like to jump right in and sit on top of all the warm clothes! mom gets upset if i hadn't had my bath yet and i do this cause she says i can stink up her hard work. so she usually gives me a bath before she gives the clothes a bath, yunno? well anyway...here is a picture of me from a long time ago when we still lived in LA and mom got behind on the clothes and wahooo! it was a good day for me!

tough guys for us.

2009-09-27T21:24:00.002-04:00

so my mom started making all kinds of funny sounds and jumping around the living room one day when she saw the previews on tv for this new show where tatooed motorcycle dudes crack down on the mean people out there who abuse us. my mom doesn't look like a tough kind of chick, but people don't know what they're dealing with when they meet her. she has a heart like those tough tatted dudes on tv. anyhow, she couldn't wait for it to come on tv, and now she records it so she can watch it lots more. i watch it with her just for the heck of it.

but then i realized, this is so much better than animal cops. that show makes mom cry a whole lot. but this show is about justice too and getting even but also helping people who just dont understand about taking care of us non-humans. and so i approve. i like it. it's a good show. but mom really likes that Batso guy who's like 75 and full of tattoos and has a funny moustache. but i like Big Ant. cause he likes kitties and really teeny people like me. well, i'm actually not teeny, but i'm not like a big pit bull like what Batso has. but it's a good show, so all you dogs out there should watch. maybe we can all get together and have like what the humans call a super bowl party (and now i know why they call it super bowl, cause there are so many bowls of food on the table that day) but instead it would be for us all to get together and play with chew toys while we watch this new show, Rescue Ink.

bulldogs, beer and baloney.

2009-09-27T15:52:00.000-04:00

so i guess now that we moved to Georgia, i gotta bark for the home team, but that's okay cause they're the bulldogs and that's better than the tigers or the lions or anything else that could eat me. the bulldogs are one of my own, yunno? so my mom picked me up this really cool jersey to wear on saturdays when she and the other human sit on the couch, turn up the speakers really loud and drink that smelly stuff in the bottle that i tried once, and got tipsy, and kept fallin' all over my mom's lap. whew! i wont do THAT again. mom said it was a lesson to teach me not to drink irresponsibly, so like many parents, she wanted to be the first to give me my first sip, yunno? but that's okay, she wont have to worry cause though i liked it at first, it was too weird. i dont know why the humans drink that stuff anyway, cause they act all goofy when they do but that's okay too cause mom lets me have more treats. i think she forgets and loses count how many she gives me. i specially like when people come over cause i get more treats then too cause mom likes me to show off my tricks. ill do anything for a treat and i'm always learning new dance moves, even though i'm older, so that saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is just baloney. ooo...that reminds me...i'm really hungry...gotta go bye.

here i am in photoshop with my new jersey on.

love at first sniff.

2009-09-25T19:29:00.000-04:00

poor dudes.

2009-09-25T19:03:00.001-04:00

sucks to be these guys.

the poo incident.

2009-09-25T18:57:00.002-04:00

okay, so one thing mom's not quite good at is training dogs. don't get me wrong...she's an excellent dog groomer...all the pooches love her...but we all take advantage of her kindness.

i don't really know what makes me do it...but sometimes i just get the urge to make poop on the floor. i don't do it on the carpet, cause i think that would make mom blazing mad, but she usually just whispers to me not to tell the other human who lives with us, and she proceeds to clean it up. i think she's actually happy that i'm smart enough to drop my doodies on the bathroom tiled floor rather than the carpet. after all, she says it's easier to clean up. but something happened last night that i'll never forget.

i had to go, man...and really bad. mom was busy making dinner in the kitchen for her and the other human. so off i went, into the bathroom, and dropped it like it was hot! oooo...it felt so good to get it all out. mom didn't notice my disappearing act, and so i went back into my posh bed in the living room. after dinner, the other human noticed. he must have told mom, because man oh man was she mad! she scooped me up (despite the fact that i was peacefully sleeping in my posh bed), dropped me onto the bathroom floor and yelled all kinds of things. i have never seen mom so mad. my nose literally came centimeters away from sniffing up my own poop! i scurried off into the safe confinement of mom's walk-in closet where i hid for a while. there's no telling how long mom would stay this mad, since i never saw her like this but one time when i mistakenly bit her in the face. well who could blame a guy...after all...she was snarling at me, showing me her gums and all. yup, i stayed in the closet for a good while, every now and then, peeking my head around the corner of the door, but all i kept seeing was the other 6' human snitch staring right back at me.

what i don't really understand is why humans are allowed to poo in the bathroom and dogs aren't.

but wow...but the relief i felt when mom later called me into the living room and threw my squeak toy back and forth with me and cuddled me and told me that she forgave me. i luv her.

i'm in love.

2009-09-25T18:36:00.002-04:00

with a girl named, Ellie. isn't she hot? she get's my tail in a ruffle.

on being hairless and how i met my mom.

2009-09-25T18:15:00.002-04:00

most people stop my mom and ask if i was always this hairless. funny, i never knew i was any different than every body else at the park. i wag my tail just the same. but mom says i'm special and rare and worth a lot of money even though my first human gave me up. he prefered to keep all the other dogs in our yard that were bigger, meaner and stole all my food. you can say i'm lucky to have found my mom (aside from the fact that the nice people who rescued me took me to the dr. first and when i woke up, i was missing something. okay two things.) but she gave me plenty of food which i didn't have to share with big bullies anymore, and i gained enough weight to look dashing again. i can't see any more bones when i look in the mirror! all i see is good-looking, handsome and charming ME! also, that nasty guy who i once called my human always called me Harry which i thought was mean, since it's clear i dont have any hair. so my new mom gave me a much more prestigious name, Albert after Albert Einstein. well of course it's fitting, because i'm very smart, you'll see.