the fat man.

So, every year my mom gets this crazy idea that i need to sit on a big fat man's lap, all dressed in red, and begg for more treats.  he's okay n all.  he's got very soft white hands, and a nice fluffy chewtoy dangling from his chin!  this year, i decided to ask the "clause" for my own website...since momma told him i already have a blog.  he laughed at me!  well...paybacks can be deadly...i left him a fartsy present on his nice soft, red lap.

The first photo is courtesy of my mom's advancing photoshop skills.  she wasn't crazy about PetSmart's cardboard backdrop.

Everybody was making fun of me because I wore green.  They all said I should be wearing red.  But my mom and I are one step ahead of the rest.  We know that in red...I'd blend in with the fat guy.  Duh.

my mom was real impressed with PetSmart's volunteer services this year at the Santa boothe.  This woman was crazy!  She kept fixing and primping my sleeve!  Doesn't she know I'm a dog, and I'm supposed to have wrinkles?  This tickled my mom's fancy, and she had to take photos of my personal dress-room assistant experience.  Man...if this is what it takes to be in show business...

Here I am asking "the Clause" for my own website.

 Here I am going in for the big "chew" on the beard.  Okay...I lie.  I was going in for some smooches.  A little "kissing" up to SantaPaws before Christmas never hurt.  Does this make me gay? 

one leg up for mom's christmas tree.

whew!  stand on hind legs, throw my front legs up in the air, and wave those paws like i just don't care...i  have been BEGGING my mom to log on for me!  but, nevertheless, she has been busy with something called finals?  she is happy when finals are over, but i say it sounds more like death.  you know..."FI-NAL"?

anyway...not much has been going on...well except for the day when my mom jumped up and down, flailing her arms around the house...doing some sort of christmas dance after she peered through the window one day to find our new tree on the porch.  well...that's what she said anyway.  a tree.  but to me, it looked like a long skinny cardboard box that i decided to welcome into our house by lifting my leg on it..yunno...the usual AL-BERT greeting.  "Welcome to my abode cardboard box...I mean...'tree'. "

So I sat on the staircase watching my mom unpack, one at a time, these prickly pieces from the cardboard box, placing one on top of eachother until all that building resembled a giant...well...tree!  The whole time, she plucked and bent the branches, singing along to stuff she must have been hearing through that square device she calls an EYE-PHONE (I don't know why, cause far as i know, it doesn't have eyes).

my mom did a pretty good job putting all that shiny stuff up on there, and right when she plugged it in...it lit up real bright.  i sniffed while admiring the new addition from down at mom's feet and was about to christen it with my special little "Albert" touch, until mom spanked my behind, waved her finger at me, looked me straight in the eye and said..."don't you even think about peeing on my tree!" 

well...i guess that was that. 

and the award for most original goes to.....

ME!  Yay!  I won my first Howl-O-Ween costume contest over at Daisy Dog's blog!  Here is the link to my category.  I'm so grateful for the careful judging and consideration!  The winners get to select their favorite dog or kittie rescue to which a donation will be made on behalf of each of the winners from the three categories!  what a pawsomely fun way to celebrate howl-o-ween. 

i'd like to thank Daisy Dog, Dozer, Mango and Dennis, the fine and uber sophisticated panel of k-9 judges.  i'd like to thank my mom for taking the time to paint my body and keep me from smudging my makeup that day.  i'd also like to thank my mom for celebrating by letting me on the bed with her and the other human in what she calls a "happiness sandwhich".  yay!

howl-o-ween

okay, so Daisy Dog is having a really kewl howl-o-ween costume contest.  there are some pretty big names up there on the judges panel.  i made a submission and i've got my paws crossed!  here is the foto i submitted of me in my Army costume.  let all the hairy dogs out there gush because no one could pull off a full-on camo paintjob the way a hairless dog can!  yeah!

wish me luck!