welcome to the dog house.

that new cat that followed the other human home has become a real pain in my tail.  she thinks she's a dog.  each time my mom takes me out to pee, the fur-ocious feline follows us out there and takes a poop right in the middle of the wood chips!  and if she sees me run off into the huge backyard, she runs after me.  more like hops.  how ever does she get that high anyway?  now she's into climbing trees and just yesterday she learned how to jump up on the stove.  the humans got so mad cause they left a cheese burger in the pan and that crazy cat had eaten 1/3 of it by the time they caught her.  i guess in a sense i can say i rather admire her.  i wish I could get away with that. she's pretty clever.  all in all, i'm still trying to get used to being no longer an only child up in this house...but i guess there's room for another four-legged one.  after all...it is rather comical to watch the humans get mad and chase the cat around the house slapping a giant dishtowel around after her!

i'm sorry to all my blogging friends out there in doggie land for my disappearance.

yes.  i've been missing.  well no, not actually missing.  i've been all over actually.  but not on da computer.  okay.  here's what happened.  we got a cat.  just when i was happy to be the only child in the house, we have to get a cat!  ooooo..i'm so mad.  i mean...i get along pretty well with cats but this one is a YOUNG cat.  and it has too much energy and meowwws all the time...oooo i hate it!  it wont let me sleep!  then it tries to steal my food and always tries to rub up against me and even sit in my bed.  THAT is a no-no.  i can't allow some other critter to come in and just act like she owns the place! 

so...i've been busy teaching this youngster the rules of MY kingdom.  the rules are outlined as follows in this nice letter i've written to the cat:

dear annoying new cat,

here are some rules that will ensure your survival in this family:

1.  the only person to sleep in Albert's bed is Albert.

2.  the only person to eat out of Albert's food dish is Albert.

3.  when Albert is sitting up on the chair next to mom, cats are not ALLOWED to climb aboard.

4.  please don't mistake my mom's fingers for food.  she gets real upset.

5.  all meow-ing must stop by midnight, sharp.

6.  my tail is not a toy.  the humans provided you a scratch pad for that.

7.  cats are supposed to do their business in the litter box provided by humans.  they are NOT to follow Albert around the yard and try to do their business next to his.

8.  the computer keyboard is meant for the humans to type on and Albert.  no kitties allowed!  it messes up my blog posts before i have the chance to hit "publish".
9.  though shall not follow mom to the mailbox everyday.  that's Albert's job.
10.    while you must stay here, you're only job is to kill the insects that fly near me. 

thanx,
and welcome to the family.  now remember, that i am boss.
sincerely,
Albert E. Hairless