yay. i finally have my own Facebook fan page!

Albert E. Hairless

Promote Your Page Too

Albert E. Hairless on Facebook

this is one of my favorite dance routines.

because she's hot and he keeps trying to cop a feel...makes me wanna pant...hahahahahaha...

howl-o-ween dance.

okay...make me barf.

i wonder how much money this guy makes.  he should go on dancing with the starz.  i think he's a human dressed as a golden.

kewl website.

since my mom is going to school to learn how to make nice websites, we sit around sometimes and look for inspiration and fun websites that look great.  i like this time cause i get to cuddle on mom's lap in front of the computer and let her take hold of the mouse for a change.  here is one we found today that we really like and because it has to do with dogs (well a book about dogs), i thought i'd share it with all of you!  you can see the talking bulldog for yourself at the full website:  http://www.gooddogsbadnames.com/

yay! it's laundry day!

mom usually isn't quite so happy to do laundry, but i luv it!  my favorite time is right after she takes the clothes out of the big tumbly thing, she puts it in this big plastic thing with holes on the sides and i like to jump right in and sit on top of all the warm clothes!  mom gets upset if i hadn't had my bath yet and i do this cause she says i can stink up her hard work.  so she usually gives me a bath before she gives the clothes a bath, yunno?  well anyway...here is a picture of me from a long time ago when we still lived in LA and mom got behind on the clothes and wahooo!  it was a good day for me!

tough guys for us.

so my mom started making all kinds of funny sounds and jumping around the living room one day when she saw the previews on tv for this new show where tatooed motorcycle dudes crack down on the mean people out there who abuse us.  my mom doesn't look like a tough kind of chick, but people don't know what they're dealing with when they meet her.  she has a heart like those tough tatted dudes on tv.  anyhow, she couldn't wait for it to come on tv, and now she records it so she can watch it lots more.  i watch it with her just for the heck of it. 

but then i realized, this is so much better than animal cops.  that show makes mom cry a whole lot.  but this show is about justice too and getting even but also helping people who just dont understand about taking care of us non-humans.  and so i approve.  i like it.  it's a good show.  but mom really likes that Batso guy who's like 75 and full of tattoos and has a funny moustache.  but i like Big Ant.  cause he likes kitties and really teeny people like me.  well, i'm actually not teeny, but i'm not like a big pit bull like what Batso has.  but it's a good show, so all you dogs out there should watch.  maybe we can all get together and have like what the humans call a super bowl party (and now i know why they call it super bowl, cause there are so many bowls of food on the table that day) but instead it would be for us all to get together and play with chew toys while we watch this new show, Rescue Ink.

bulldogs, beer and baloney.

so i guess now that we moved to Georgia, i gotta bark for the home team, but that's okay cause they're the bulldogs and that's better than the tigers or the lions or anything else that could eat me.  the bulldogs are one of my own, yunno?  so my mom picked me up this really cool jersey to wear on saturdays when she and the other human sit on the couch, turn up the speakers really loud and drink that smelly stuff in the bottle that i tried once, and got tipsy, and kept fallin' all over my mom's lap.  whew!  i wont do THAT again.  mom said it was a lesson to teach me not to drink irresponsibly, so like many parents, she wanted to be the first to give me my first sip, yunno?  but that's okay, she wont have to worry cause though i liked it at first, it was too weird.  i dont know why the humans drink that stuff anyway, cause they act all goofy when they do but that's okay too cause mom lets me have more treats.  i think she forgets and loses count how many she gives me.  i specially like when people come over cause i get more treats then too cause mom likes me to show off my tricks.  ill do anything for a treat and i'm always learning new dance moves, even though i'm older, so that saying "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is just baloney.  ooo...that reminds me...i'm really hungry...gotta go bye.

here i am in photoshop with my new jersey on.

love at first sniff.

poor dudes.

sucks to be these guys.

the poo incident.

okay, so one thing mom's not quite good at is training dogs.  don't get me wrong...she's an excellent dog groomer...all the pooches love her...but we all take advantage of her kindness.

 i don't really know what makes me do it...but sometimes i just get the urge to make poop on the floor.  i don't do it on the carpet, cause i think that would make mom blazing mad, but she usually just whispers to me not to tell the other human who lives with us, and she proceeds to clean it up.  i think she's actually happy that i'm smart enough to drop my doodies on the bathroom tiled floor rather than the carpet.  after all, she says it's easier to clean up.  but something happened last night that i'll never forget.

i had to go, man...and really bad.  mom was busy making dinner in the kitchen for her and the other human.  so off i went, into the bathroom, and dropped it like it was hot! oooo...it felt so good to get it all out.  mom didn't notice my disappearing act, and so i went back into my posh bed in the living room.  after dinner, the other human noticed.  he must have told mom, because man oh man was she mad!  she scooped me up (despite the fact that i was peacefully sleeping in my posh bed), dropped me onto the bathroom floor and yelled all kinds of things.  i have never seen mom so mad.  my nose literally came centimeters away from sniffing up my own poop!  i scurried off into the safe confinement of mom's walk-in closet where i hid for a while.  there's no telling how long mom would stay this mad, since i never saw her like this but one time when i mistakenly bit her in the face.  well who could blame a guy...after all...she was snarling at me, showing me her gums and all.  yup, i stayed in the closet for a good while, every now and then, peeking my head around the corner of the door, but all i kept seeing was the other 6' human snitch staring right back at me. 

what i don't really understand is why humans are allowed to poo in the bathroom and dogs aren't. 

but wow...but the relief i felt when mom later called me into the living room and threw my squeak toy back and forth with me and cuddled me and told me that she forgave me.  i luv her.

i'm in love.

with a girl named, Ellie.  isn't she hot?  she get's my tail in a ruffle.

on being hairless and how i met my mom.

most people stop my mom and ask if i was always this hairless. funny, i never knew i was any different than every body else at the park. i wag my tail just the same. but mom says i'm special and rare and worth a lot of money even though my first human gave me up. he prefered to keep all the other dogs in our yard that were bigger, meaner and stole all my food. you can say i'm lucky to have found my mom (aside from the fact that the nice people who rescued me took me to the dr. first and when i woke up, i was missing something. okay two things.) but she gave me plenty of food which i didn't have to share with big bullies anymore, and i gained enough weight to look dashing again. i can't see any more bones when i look in the mirror! all i see is good-looking, handsome and charming ME! also, that nasty guy who i once called my human always called me Harry which i thought was mean, since it's clear i dont have any hair. so my new mom gave me a much more prestigious name, Albert after Albert Einstein. well of course it's fitting, because i'm very smart, you'll see.