Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
so my mom started making all kinds of funny sounds and jumping around the living room one day when she saw the previews on tv for this new show where tatooed motorcycle dudes crack down on the mean people out there who abuse us. my mom doesn't look like a tough kind of chick, but people don't know what they're dealing with when they meet her. she has a heart like those tough tatted dudes on tv. anyhow, she couldn't wait for it to come on tv, and now she records it so she can watch it lots more. i watch it with her just for the heck of it.
here i am in photoshop with my new jersey on.
Friday, September 25, 2009
okay, so one thing mom's not quite good at is training dogs. don't get me wrong...she's an excellent dog groomer...all the pooches love her...but we all take advantage of her kindness.
i don't really know what makes me do it...but sometimes i just get the urge to make poop on the floor. i don't do it on the carpet, cause i think that would make mom blazing mad, but she usually just whispers to me not to tell the other human who lives with us, and she proceeds to clean it up. i think she's actually happy that i'm smart enough to drop my doodies on the bathroom tiled floor rather than the carpet. after all, she says it's easier to clean up. but something happened last night that i'll never forget.
i had to go, man...and really bad. mom was busy making dinner in the kitchen for her and the other human. so off i went, into the bathroom, and dropped it like it was hot! oooo...it felt so good to get it all out. mom didn't notice my disappearing act, and so i went back into my posh bed in the living room. after dinner, the other human noticed. he must have told mom, because man oh man was she mad! she scooped me up (despite the fact that i was peacefully sleeping in my posh bed), dropped me onto the bathroom floor and yelled all kinds of things. i have never seen mom so mad. my nose literally came centimeters away from sniffing up my own poop! i scurried off into the safe confinement of mom's walk-in closet where i hid for a while. there's no telling how long mom would stay this mad, since i never saw her like this but one time when i mistakenly bit her in the face. well who could blame a guy...after all...she was snarling at me, showing me her gums and all. yup, i stayed in the closet for a good while, every now and then, peeking my head around the corner of the door, but all i kept seeing was the other 6' human snitch staring right back at me.
what i don't really understand is why humans are allowed to poo in the bathroom and dogs aren't.
but wow...but the relief i felt when mom later called me into the living room and threw my squeak toy back and forth with me and cuddled me and told me that she forgave me. i luv her.
most people stop my mom and ask if i was always this hairless. funny, i never knew i was any different than every body else at the park. i wag my tail just the same. but mom says i'm special and rare and worth a lot of money even though my first human gave me up. he prefered to keep all the other dogs in our yard that were bigger, meaner and stole all my food. you can say i'm lucky to have found my mom (aside from the fact that the nice people who rescued me took me to the dr. first and when i woke up, i was missing something. okay two things.) but she gave me plenty of food which i didn't have to share with big bullies anymore, and i gained enough weight to look dashing again. i can't see any more bones when i look in the mirror! all i see is good-looking, handsome and charming ME! also, that nasty guy who i once called my human always called me Harry which i thought was mean, since it's clear i dont have any hair. so my new mom gave me a much more prestigious name, Albert after Albert Einstein. well of course it's fitting, because i'm very smart, you'll see.